Edward G. Robinson

Edward G. Robinson’s monologue rant in Double Indemnity (1944)

“Come now, you’ve never read an actuarial table in your life, have you? Why, they’ve got ten volumes on suicide alone. Suicide by race, by color, by occupation, by sex, by seasons of the year, by time of day. Suicide how committed; by poison, by firearms, by drowning, by leaps. Suicide by poison, subdivided by types of poison, such as corrosives, irritants, systemic, gaseous, narcotic, alkaloid, protein, and so forth. Suicide by leaps, subdivided by leaps from high places, under the wheels of trains, under the wheels of trucks, under the feet of horses, from steamboats. But, Mr. Norton, of all the cases on record, there’s not one single case of suicide by a leap from the rear end of a moving train. And you know how fast that train was going at the point where the body was found? Fifteen miles an hour! Now how can anybody jump off a slow moving moving train like that with any kind of expectation that he would kill himself? No, no soap, Mr. Norton. We’re sunk, and we’ll have to pay through the nose, and you know it.”

Geometric Logic

The Caine Mutiny
written by Stanley Roberts, Michael Blankfort, from the novel by Herman Wouk

(Captain Queeg removes the steel balls from his pocket and he spins them in his palm insistently as he speaks.)

Queeg: No, I, I don't see any need of that. Now that I recall, he might have said something about messboys and then again he might not -- I questioned so many men and Harding was not the most reliable officer.

Lt. Greenwald (José Ferrer): I'm afraid the defense has no other recourse than to produce Ensign Harding.

Queeg: Now there's no need for that! I know exactly what he'll tell you. Lies! He was no different than any officer in the wardroom -- they were all disloyal. I tried to run the ship properly, by the book, but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out, that's all right, let them. Take the tow line--defective equipment no more no less, but they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about steaming in circles. And then Old Yellowstain. I was to blame for Lieutenant Maryk's incompetence and poor seamanship. Lieutenant Maryk was the perfect officer, but not Captain Queeg. Ah, but the strawberries! That's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist! And I'd have produced that key if they hadn't pulled Caine out of action! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer and-- . . . Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory. If I've left anything out, why, just ask me specific questions and I'll be glad to answer them...one-by-one...