19 Dezember 2009

A Clockwork Exam

With insincere apologies to Burgess and Kubrick

"Very soon now, the exams will cause the subject to experience a death-like paralysis, together with deep feelings of terror and helplessness. One of our early test subjects described it as being like death, a sense of stifling or drowning, and it is during this period...that the subject will make his most rewarding associations between his catastrophic examination-environment and the ignorance he faces."

18 Dezember 2009

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."

Good Cruise Ship Joke

A cruise ship passes a small desert island. Everyone watches as a ratty-looking bearded man runs out on the beach and starts shouting and waving his hands.

"Who's that?" asks one of the passengers.

"I have no idea," replies the captain. "But every year we sail past and he goes nuts."

13 Dezember 2009

RYL, RIP

Despite your flaws, you were fun to be around. "You could say I'm turning Dayquil into Nightquil." "RYLOS Abyssinians...guess we're on another line, or at a show/Leave word before you go/And when you've had your say/Have a purrrry day. Meow." Libott, 20 Dec 1922 to 26 Dec 2006.