31 Mai 2008

The REAL Madamoiselle from Armentieres

As regular readers probably have already deduced, I normally eschew profanity on this site, if for no other reason than to do so nowadays is an easy way of distinguishing oneself. But I have to make an exception on literary-historical grounds for the following. It's the unexpurgated version of the famous World War I ditty, "Madamoiselle from Armeniteres, Parlez-Vous." It's the really raunchy, incredibly offensive version, the true origin of which remains unknown, except that it is British. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! THIS IS STRAIGHT OUT OF THE TRENCHES! It is a remarkable example of both wartime propaganda & pure soldier smut. You’ve been fairly forewarned.



Three German officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous.
Three German officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous.
Three German officers crossed the Rhine
To fuck the women and drink the wine,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

They came to the door of a wayside Inn, parlez-vous.
They came to the door of a wayside Inn, parlez-vous.
They came to the door of a wayside Inn,
Pissed on the mat and walked right in,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

Oh, landlord, have you a daughter fair?, parlez-vous.
Oh, landlord, have you a daughter fair?, parlez-vous.
Oh landlord have you a daughter fair,
With lily-white tits and golden hair?
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

My only daughter's far too young, parlez-vous.
My only daughter's far too young, parlez-vous.
My only daughter's far too young,
To be fucked by you, you bastard Hun,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

Oh, father dear, I'm not too young, parlez-vous.
Oh, father dear, I'm not too young, parlez-vous.
Oh, father dear, I'm not too young,
I've just been fucked by the blacksmith's son,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

At last they got her on the bed, parlez-vous.
At last they got her on the bed, parlez-vous.
At last they got her on the bed
And shagged her 'til her cheeks were red,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

They took her down a shady lane, parlez-vous.
They took her down a shady lane, parlez-vous.
They took her down a shady lane
And shagged her back to life again,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

And then they took her to a bed, parlez-vous.
And then they took her to a bed, parlez-vous.
And then they took her to a bed
And shagged her ‘til she was nearly dead,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

They shagged her up they shagged her down, parlez-vous.
They shagged her up they shagged her down, parlez-vous.
They shagged her up they shagged her down,
They shagged her all around the town,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

They shagged her in they shagged her out, parlez-vous.
They shagged her in they shagged her out, parlez-vous.
They shagged her in they shagged her out,
They shagged her up her water-spout,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

Now, seven months later all was well, parlez-vous.
Now, seven months later all was well, parlez-vous.
Now seven months later all was well,
Eight months later she began to swell,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

Nine months later she gave a grunt, parlez-vous.
Nine months later she gave a grunt, parlez-vous.
Nine months later she gave a grunt
And a little fat Prussian popped out her cunt,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

The fat little Prussian he grew and grew, parlez-vous.
The fat little Prussian he grew and grew, parlez-vous.
The fat little Prussian he grew and grew,
He fucked the cat and the donkey too,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.

The fat little Prussian, he went to hell, parlez-vous.
The fat little Prussian, he went to hell, parlez-vous.
The fat little Prussian he went to hell,
He fucked the devil and his wife as well,
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous.